Around that same time, a very unlikely person had some very unlikely things to say about my scars. I'm still not quite willing to embrace them, but I'm no longer ashamed of them. In fact, after what I am now confident was my final surgery two weeks ago, I'm happier with how they look than I have been in three years.
Then last night I started reading Little Bee by Chris Cleave and within the first ten pages I came across this:
"...and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."
To quote ee cummings, "Unbeing dead isn't being alive." It's taken me three years, but I finally get it. I've done things this summer that I haven't let myself do since cancer. But mostly, I've let myself have fun. I've let myself live. And it's only just beginning. So look out.
17 comments:
The scars are beautiful -- they are life!
Dear Melissa,
My name is Tina. I have a blog called Little Tots Big Ideas. I lost my sister to breast cancer at age 37. During the month of October I want to do a spotlight every week on a different breast cancer survivor. Would you be interested? Please check out my blog at www.littletotsbigideas.blogspot.com You can access my cancer posts by googling on my right side bar. If you are interested, please email me at littletotsbigideas@hotmail.com.
I so hope to hear from you.
Thank you for your time.
Tina
Little Tots Big Ideas
Just visiting from Tina's blog, I know I don't know your whole story, but from what I read it's a great one. Makes me so thankful for what I have, little as it may be. These stories scare me to death, I'm so happy to hear a possitive one!
Hi Melissa,
My name is Joe Khoury, and I am the co-founder of LaceBuddy.com, with my cousin Mike.
We have started a business selling shoe charms online (We call them LaceBuddys, small rubber charms that can be attached to shoelaces, perfect for kids...we are releasing many designs and themes) but what we are most excited about is that we are featuring a Pink Ribbon Lace Buddy to raise money and awareness for breast cancer research. All profit from each Pink Ribbon purchase will go to 26.2 with Donna and currently working on affiliating with more organizations, and our goal is to raise 1 million dollars to battle this disease.
Our hope is to have runners and walkers participating in breast cancer awareness events proudly wearing Pink Ribbon Lace Buddys during their walk or run, knowing they are taking another small step toward finding a cure.
I have lost his mother to breast cancer when I was a child, my dad to pancreatic cancer, and my aunt that raised me is fighting the disease now. And Mike lost his grandmother last winter to breast cancer. We feel very strongly about fighting a disease that threatens to take away the important women in our lives.
Is it possible for you to mention our site and product on your blog?
Thank you so much for your support!
Joe & Mike, founders of LaceBuddy.com
http://lacebuddy.com/breastcancer
joe@lacebuddy.com
mike@lacebuddy.com
I noticed your blog while surfing for other cancer blogs.
My girl T goes in for surgery on March 2nd (4 days from now) sooooo scared. I worked in a cancer lab for 10 years and know enough to make me crazy scared.
She's tough...but the chemo and crazy side effects like neuropathy have taken their toll. Trying to stay strong for her, but starting to break, if you know what I mean.
Her Cancer had already spread to liver and lungs and lymph nodes, but have all disapeared with chemo except for the lump in the breast and lymph nodes under one arm. Surgery and radiation for those to come
As for the scars to come on Wednesday, I told her, I didn't care if she choose reconstruction or not, and I don't care about the scars, I love her....it's that simple....I am however scared of the effect they will have on her emotionally....again, because I love her.
Stay Strong!!!
Peace,
Kat
PS - Will you help me get 1 mil. Twitter Followers before March 18th? (T's 45th birthday) Our Twitter Profile is at http://www.twitter.com/cancersucksass .
If you want you can read my blog at http://cancersucksass.blogspot.com....I'd actually love to hear any comments you might have.
Join the Massachusetts Breast Cancer Coalition's 1 mile competitive swim, 1 mile recreational swim, 2 mile kayak, 3 mile walk, 5K fun run. Participate in 1,2 or 3, of the 5 events to support breast cancer prevention. Visit: www.mbcc.org/swim or call 1-800-649-6222.
Sometimes when an event happens like a cancer, we are given a chance to do things that we have never done before, a door opens to makes our life twist a new and instead of feeling down we get better as a person.
Very well said.
Hi,
My name is Eliana Feigelstock and I am a current student at Art Center College of Design. I am currently designing a medical device and I chose my direction in breast cancer as I have known a few women who have had it (I will be interviewing them as well). I am hopefully going to design a new product (medical devices for 2016) that will be an at home tool to keep track and shrink the tumor. If you check out my blog (http://elianafeigelstock.blogspot.com/ ) I have done several products, this being the first medical project. I am hoping I can ask you questions to receive some feedback (so I can ultimately make my product better serve you and others with breast cancer). If you are open to an interview, it can be email based, that would be extremely beneficial to my research. Wishing you strength in journey and a speedy recovery
Thanks,
Eliana
I can't tell you how inspiring I find your blog. As someone who has been deeply affected by Breast Cancer and count some of the most powerful women I know as survivors, your blog and all that its stands for give support and crucial awareness that is beyond definition. Thanks so much for what you do.
So inspired by your site, I convinced my company, AmaraGold to host a facebook promotion called Voices of Hope. I wanted to share it with you: http://www.facebook.com/AmaraGold?v=app_4949752878
I would also love to have this be a great success of a campaign for Breast Cancer Awareness month, so if you could help spread the word that would be fantastic.
Thanks so much!
Ava
Scars are reminders that there can be healing despite the pain, despite the struggle and despite the tears. Having a wound is sign of being human and having cancer is just part of being human, it does not define you in any way.
Your story is inspiring. I loved it when you said "a scar means I survived." Glad to see that you are happy and I hope that you can continue to inspire others.
A scar mean i survived... but seriously when i see my pimples scar on my face... then i got depressed that my face is now looking weird i want to change my skin back to normal .. but seriously watching my breast scar that i survived from a death disease then i feel so happy and lively.. Breast cancer...death fight
Firstly i didn't concentrated on my scars and they gradually converted to Squamous Cell Carcinoma and now i am being under treatment and hoping for best.
Hi – It’s good to read such interesting stuff on the Internet as I have been able to discover here. I agree with much of what is written here and I’ll be coming back to this website again. Thanks again for posting such great reading material!!
Hi. Been so grateful or your blog as I am going through chemo at the moment. Would love to know how you getting on? Im Sue from England. Sue
Hi. Have been so helped by your comments as I am going through chemo now. Would love to know how you getting on? Having trouble posting this so hope you don't get it twice! I'm Sue from england.
Post a Comment