Big Feelings
We've made it through 5 weeks of safe at home, and the Monkey is starting to have lots of very strong feelings. This last weekend and the few days this week have definitely gotten harder. There is a lot of anger in that little 35 pound body, and she doesn't know what to do with all those feelings. I know it's incredibly unfair to expect a four year old to understand why they're still at home six weeks later, much less to comprehend what a "meeting" is and why Mommy has them all day long.
Her response to everything right now is, "I Want You." I want you to play with me. I want you to lay down with me. I want you. I don't think it's manipulative, I think she's really expressing that she needs me to help her through this. Weekends are solely about being present for her, and getting enough outside time to wear her out. Giving her the connection that she craves, and that I cannot deliver during normal business hours. It's soul crushing and guilt-inducing in one three-word bite.
We suddenly have lots of bad guys that need fighting - monsters, dragons, scary lasers. I've tried to limit what I've actually told her about this situation. Basically, "there are some really bad germs making people sick right now, and that's why we are staying home to avoid getting them and so we don't accidentally share any germs with anyone else. That's why the {Insert requested activity} is closed - so no one gets sick from the germs. Look at this cool Frozen mask our neighbor made you! That will help protect us from germs when we need to go places like the grocery store." But somehow, she has still absorbed that there's some scary stuff going down right now, and it's not sitting well.
And aside from the battles we have with bad guys, we're battling each other.
Bedtime is more of a battle than it has ever been. Maybe it's because she's not as stimulated during the day by all her friends, maybe I'm not getting her enough/the right kind of physical activity. Maybe it's because Mommy has meetings that are no fun and mean we cannot play all day. Maybe she doesn't get the right amount of nap, or gets it too late in the day. Maybe it's because I only read 7 books, instead of 18. Maybe it's just part of being 4.25 years old.
Getting dressed is a battle. I mean, what crazy mom makes us get dressed when we can't go anywhere or see any of our friends?
Eating is a battle. Why can't the ice cream truck come here every day? Why do I have to eat things other than Goldfish?
Someone said that they think this is hardest on the parents, but I think it's absolutely harder for the little kids. They don't really comprehend what's going on (I'm glad), but we're asking a lot of them anyway.
- The price of oil was down to historic lows yesterday - below $0 per barrel - as supply far exceeds demand.
- Gas at our gas station of record for tracking during this pandemic is 1.33/gallon. That's down $0.66 in five weeks, and approaching low prices that seem more appropriate for when I was in college.
- The United States has 804,194 cases confirmed, with 43,200 deaths. 43,200 people. (For size comparison, I looked up the student population at my alma mater - UVA. Almost 24K students - undergrad and graduate. Plus 17K Faculty and Staff. So roughly 41K people on Grounds, and already we have more deaths from this virus in 6 weeks than the entire population of the Academical Village.)
- Virginia has 9,630 cases diagnosed, with 324 deaths. Our county - Frederick - is currently at 83 cases. (these numbers are now a day old, because blogging is low on the list. It got written, but not posted.)
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