Old News
Yesterday someone said to me "So, you're done with radiation when?" Looks innocent enough in print, right? It was the tone behind the question that made me want to say, "I'm sorry, has this been inconvenient for you? Do you think I have enjoyed acquiring burns and permanent disfigurement?" But I didn't, I just smiled and said, "Next Friday."
If this had been someone that had asked me once over the past six months how I was doing or could they help, I'd be feeling a little more generous towards them right now. But they've not said one thing, nice or otherwise, since their initial "I'm sorry" when I was diagnosed. I know that some people are just socially inept and people are scared by me, because what's happening to me could happen to them, but I'm tired of making excuses for people's poor behavior.
When I was diagnosed, I was deluged with cards and offers of help. Outside of a very few people, (and believe me, I'm thankful for those people) I haven't gotten help the very few times I've asked for it. My cancer friends are all experiencing this; it's almost fun to play the hero when someone you know is diagnosed, but the novelty quickly wears off and the support dries up when you need it most.
I know I'll be "done" next Friday, but this isn't over for me. No one will snap their fingers and make it go away. In some respects, the hardest part is still ahead for me; I have to figure out how to live a "normal" life again.
So, when something crappy like cancer happens to someone you know, please remember that just because you're over it doesn't mean that they are. If you're going to be there, plan to be there for all nine innings.
If this had been someone that had asked me once over the past six months how I was doing or could they help, I'd be feeling a little more generous towards them right now. But they've not said one thing, nice or otherwise, since their initial "I'm sorry" when I was diagnosed. I know that some people are just socially inept and people are scared by me, because what's happening to me could happen to them, but I'm tired of making excuses for people's poor behavior.
When I was diagnosed, I was deluged with cards and offers of help. Outside of a very few people, (and believe me, I'm thankful for those people) I haven't gotten help the very few times I've asked for it. My cancer friends are all experiencing this; it's almost fun to play the hero when someone you know is diagnosed, but the novelty quickly wears off and the support dries up when you need it most.
I know I'll be "done" next Friday, but this isn't over for me. No one will snap their fingers and make it go away. In some respects, the hardest part is still ahead for me; I have to figure out how to live a "normal" life again.
So, when something crappy like cancer happens to someone you know, please remember that just because you're over it doesn't mean that they are. If you're going to be there, plan to be there for all nine innings.
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