How Push Ups Saved My Life
I've never talked much about everything leading up to the big "You've got cancer" announcement and since it all got started one year ago today, I thought I'd start telling that story.
I'd been complaining, OK whining, really, for about a week that my boob felt funny. I was having a hard time explaining what exactly I meant by "funny" and I think my family was convinced that I was a little "funny" in the head. It felt sort of like a muscle that was permanently flexed and wouldn't relax. I'd been taking a lot of kickboxing classes and I think the instructor had made it his New Year's resolution to make us do hundreds of push-ups. At some point I finally figured out this must be the cause.
That Monday was Martin Luther King, Jr. day so we didn't have to work. I remember showering that morning and thinking that maybe I could massage away some of the soreness. Almost right away my hand found the lump. It was hard and felt about the size of an almond. Once I'd found it, my hand kept going back to see if it was still there.
I went to the mall and met my family for a little shopping. Kristen was just starting to show and needed some maternity clothes. Mom wanted to exchange a coat she'd gotten for Christmas. I blurted out "I found a lump in my breast," in the middle of the Macy's coat department. That's when it became real. I promised my mom I'd make an appointment with the doctor, but I hoped the lump would go away once the muscle soreness wore off.
Later that week I finally called my primary care doctor for an appointment. I had just been in for my annual exam less than a month prior and she hadn't felt anything then, so I was afraid I was wasting her time. The following Monday I saw her and she gave me a referral for a mammogram and an ultrasound. She told me that day that depending on what the mammogram showed, she might refer me to a breast surgeon to remove it even if it was benign. I remember feeling the shock on my face as she said this. A small amount of panic set in, but once again I was able to convince myself it was nothing. Looking over her notes after my diagnosis, it was pretty clear to me that she suspected it was cancer that day.
I called and made an appointment for the mammogram while I was sitting in the parking lot at the doctor's office. It would be about two and a half weeks before they could get me in. That was plenty of time for me to convince myself that nothing was wrong.
I'd been complaining, OK whining, really, for about a week that my boob felt funny. I was having a hard time explaining what exactly I meant by "funny" and I think my family was convinced that I was a little "funny" in the head. It felt sort of like a muscle that was permanently flexed and wouldn't relax. I'd been taking a lot of kickboxing classes and I think the instructor had made it his New Year's resolution to make us do hundreds of push-ups. At some point I finally figured out this must be the cause.
That Monday was Martin Luther King, Jr. day so we didn't have to work. I remember showering that morning and thinking that maybe I could massage away some of the soreness. Almost right away my hand found the lump. It was hard and felt about the size of an almond. Once I'd found it, my hand kept going back to see if it was still there.
I went to the mall and met my family for a little shopping. Kristen was just starting to show and needed some maternity clothes. Mom wanted to exchange a coat she'd gotten for Christmas. I blurted out "I found a lump in my breast," in the middle of the Macy's coat department. That's when it became real. I promised my mom I'd make an appointment with the doctor, but I hoped the lump would go away once the muscle soreness wore off.
Later that week I finally called my primary care doctor for an appointment. I had just been in for my annual exam less than a month prior and she hadn't felt anything then, so I was afraid I was wasting her time. The following Monday I saw her and she gave me a referral for a mammogram and an ultrasound. She told me that day that depending on what the mammogram showed, she might refer me to a breast surgeon to remove it even if it was benign. I remember feeling the shock on my face as she said this. A small amount of panic set in, but once again I was able to convince myself it was nothing. Looking over her notes after my diagnosis, it was pretty clear to me that she suspected it was cancer that day.
I called and made an appointment for the mammogram while I was sitting in the parking lot at the doctor's office. It would be about two and a half weeks before they could get me in. That was plenty of time for me to convince myself that nothing was wrong.
Comments
Do you think you would have found it eventually without the kickboxing class?
I love you!
Mom
Your blog has become a part of my every day -- and yesterday, when I was tempted to postpone my already postponed mammogram, I thought of your wise words, and I "stopped the world", stepped off, and went to my appointment. Thank you.
I hope this is an awesome and happy new year for you...and a time to look AHEAD and forward to the future, and to those oppportunites that you have desired and perhaps put aside for a time. :)
Love, Suzan