Ok, Universe, I Get It.

I just freaked out in front of everyone I work with. One of the awards that my organization gives is for cable television productions that depict women as strong leaders or role models. We watched a number of movies over pizza today in consideration of this year's award. I had to practically run from the room during "Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy." I've seen it before and I know exactly what happens, but it was just too much. Even though I know it has a "happy" ending, it hit too close to home. I didn't even cry when I told my entire staff that I had breast cancer during a staff meeting in February, so to see me running from the room in tears probably wasn't what they were expecting.

I met with the therapist after my radiation treatment yesterday and we had a good discussion. That's something I'm not going to talk about here, but she did say something I needed to hear. The point, she said, of my doing these treatments is so that I will live. If I'm not going let myself live, then why am I putting myself through this? The living with this is the part I still have to figure out, because normal will never be the same.

I'm going to try the support group for young women with breast cancer tonight. I've been resistant to support groups because I have this mental picture of what it will be like, so I'm going to put that aside and give it a shot. I think it will help me to meet some other people who are going through the same thing.

There's something wrong with the title function on Blogger, so until they get it fixed, no fun titles!