You Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Turn on any country music station and within ten minutes I can almost promise that you will hear one of two songs. Brad Paisley's "Ticks" might be the most obnoxious song I've ever heard, with it's chorus of "I'd like to check you for ticks." The other, Tracy Lawrence's "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" is a little more relevant to my current journey.
A cancer diagnosis and the subsequent fallout really does let you know who your friends are. There are some people who step up to the plate to help you out and support you exactly like you hope they would. There are some people who disappear completely when you need them most. And then there is another group that tells you about the nice things they've thought of doing for you, but never got around to. That hurts more than those that just dropped out.
I hate that I feel like I'm keeping score, but it makes me resent the times I've been there for people who couldn't be there for me. I've read in countless places that this would happen, but I refused to think that any of my friends could abandon me. The other side of this coin is the people who have stepped up that I never would have expected, and that is certainly a blessing.
If you're reading the blog, then I know you're not one of these people, so please don't think I'm talking about you. And please spare me the "you're better off without thems" and the "we're here for yous" right now. I'm just too angry and hurt for that right now.
A cancer diagnosis and the subsequent fallout really does let you know who your friends are. There are some people who step up to the plate to help you out and support you exactly like you hope they would. There are some people who disappear completely when you need them most. And then there is another group that tells you about the nice things they've thought of doing for you, but never got around to. That hurts more than those that just dropped out.
I hate that I feel like I'm keeping score, but it makes me resent the times I've been there for people who couldn't be there for me. I've read in countless places that this would happen, but I refused to think that any of my friends could abandon me. The other side of this coin is the people who have stepped up that I never would have expected, and that is certainly a blessing.
If you're reading the blog, then I know you're not one of these people, so please don't think I'm talking about you. And please spare me the "you're better off without thems" and the "we're here for yous" right now. I'm just too angry and hurt for that right now.
Comments
Also, I hate "Ticks" too. I've only heard "Find out Who Your Friends Are" once and only partially, but I'm so glad that I have somebody else I can talk about horribly bad country music with! I can't stop listening, but I also hate most of it.
Everyone we meet along the way helps to shape us. Sometimes it's the people who disappoint us that we learn the most from. I'm sorry for this experience. You're an awesome woman and I'm proud of you!
Love,
Mom
There is a significant "assignment" awaiting you as a result of this battle. I believe that with all of my heart.
I want to share something with you that you may thinks is ridiculous, and I am ashamed to say that it's true: I was afraid to read your blog at the beginning. That is how much I feared your battle - even contemplating watching you and your family endure it was unbearable.
Melissa, You have given me courage, and I know you have given that much more to every other person who reads your words - especially those who are facing this battle, too....women, mothers, sisters, daughters, their fathers, their husbands, their children.
I know I am not alone in telling you that I haven't missed a single one of your entries in this blog. If anyone asked me today who my hero is, you would be the first person to come to my mind. First, God gave you a brilliant mind and a courageous spirit. And then He armed you with curiosity and gutsy determination, so that you would be equipped to understand and combat this battle. Then He made you remarkably bright, eloquent, stubborn, and tender - and you can't know how many people you already inspire every day as these traits hallmark your comments, attitude, and actions. You have taken a dreaded diagnosis, one that sparks fear and anxiety among all women, and you have made it accessible, approachable, and possible to contemplate. You have modeled what it looks like to face painful facts, seek answers to questions, take the necessary steps ONE at a time, and even laugh at the human condition - forgiving yourself when you feel vulnerable, afraid, angry, or just plain hurt.
Perhaps your "assignment" has already begun. I am amazed by you, but even more, I am grateful to you because your words will change lives and give out hope and heart in abundance.
I think you are absolutely awesome!!!! Thank you for sharing yourself with others - a gift beyond measure.
I hope your spirits improve by tomorrow. A short (one sided) phone conversation with your new nephew might help! :)
Love, Suzan