Nightmare on Lotus Lane

The fears and possibilities that I will not grant space to during the day have been forcing their way into my dreams. I never had very realistic dreams before; they were always off the wall and bizarre to such an extreme that I would never wake up and actually consider the possibility. Now I wake up wondering if it was a dream or just what happened before I went to sleep. Maybe it's all of the drugs flowing through my system. I don't know, and I don't really care. I just want them to stop.

I think yesterday was my best day so far. I'm a little more tired today but not sure if it's because I didn't sleep or because of chemo. Thankfully the week is almost over and I'll have the weekend to rest up. Next week I go back to the oncologist on Monday to get my blood counts checked and to the surgeon on Friday for a follow-up. The good news is that the swelling under my arm has finally started to go down, one month after surgery! I think the feeling is slowly coming back also.