Too Much Fun

Everyone is asking me how I feel about chemo #2. Compared to the first one, I'd say I'm more nervous. This time, I know what I'm getting in to; last time, I was sure it wouldn't be so bad. Some women say each round gets a little worse; the fatigue is stronger, the nausea hits you harder. I'm a little nervous about how the change in doctors will affect this round. The other chemo nurses knew exactly where my port was and how deep they needed to go. They knew that the Cytoxan gave me a bad headache and so I need to get it more slowly. They had a nice chemo area and I had the room to myself. This new place "has an extra chair" in the stem cell transplant area where they can "squeeze me in." I picture people on gurneys in the hallway from some television hospital show like ER. Not that it matters where I get it as much as that I get it, but now I have to develop a new chemo routine, and I just don't like it.

Dad will come up tomorrow morning and go with me to chemo. Afterwards, I'll go back to Woodstock with him so he and Mom can take care of me until I have the strength to do it for myself. As insistent as I had been in the beginning about staying on my own and doing for myself, I quickly learned that I need help and it's OK to ask for it.

So tomorrow the fun begins again. Wish me luck!